Monstrous Races Read online

  Gwen was the first to see them as they stumbled through the door of Goat Cuisine that morning, and she put down the large mixing bowl and wiped her brow, smiling at them as though genuinely thrilled to see them both. 'Oh you came back, I'm so pleased,' she said, ringing the tea-towel she was holding with both hands. 'So many people give up, especially after he makes them eat all the onions. And you're only half an hour late as well.'

  'S'er fault, shoulda stayed ‘n bed,' muttered Rufus quietly, exhaustion making the words almost incomprehensible.

  'Will we get into trouble for being late?' asked Elli brightly, putting on her apron and hat and carefully tying her hair up inside it.

  'Trouble? Not with me my loves, but Leo might be a bit grouchy, not that you'll really be able to tell the difference. Two groats he had on you giving up by now, and four on Rufus. Oh I can't wait to tell him,' she said grinning. 'Fancy some tea?'

  'Yes please,' answered Elli as Rufus slumped onto a stool and began picking last night's goat out of his teeth. 'So does this mean that I don't have to eat onions again?' she asked expectantly, her eyes shining. At that moment Leo appeared at the door and let out what Elli thought was an ancient roar but which resolved itself into a deep sigh.

  'No,' he said, his deep-set eyes flashing at the sight of Gwen breaking into a self-satisfied dance. 'Today we work on fish for my Goat and Fish Surprise. You can eat that raw and see how you like it,' he muttered before attempting to flounce off. As he was an ogre this translated instead as stooping down to get through the door and catching one horn on the corner, pulling off some of the plasterwork and covering himself in red dust. When he'd gone Elli turned to Gwen and lowered her voice.

  'Gwen, I thought ogres used to eat people. Why is he worried about raw fish?' she asked quietly, aware now of a gentle rhythmic sighing at her side.

  'Oh they haven't done that for years,' said Gwen, pouring the tea. 'And there was a long time when they'd only eat their meat cooked, braised in honey and all kinds of lovely flavours. That's why they make such good chefs. Don't worry about him,' she said brightly, 'he'll forget all about it soon. He thought you did a good job, I can tell.'

  'Really?' asked Elli, smiling. 'Did he really? I enjoyed it a lot, although it's tricky to balance on a stepladder to see what he's doing. Will he really make me eat raw fish?'

  'I'd have thought so love, but you'll learn ever such a lot from it. Hey, while Rufus is asleep shall I see what I can find left over from last night? I think there's some plum pudding and cherry blancmange to celebrate my win.'

  'Yes please,' said Rufus, suddenly very wide awake. 'Double portion for me as I'm bigger than you two, and I'll have some quiche if there's some going too. With extra goat on the side.'

  At lunchtime Elli stood poised over an enormous pot of bubbling goat fricassee, stirring it with a ladle as big as her arm. She hadn't actually minded eating the raw fish as long as she'd cut it into tiny slivers; in fact she'd quite liked it, and Leo had been crestfallen as he noted that her punishment wasn't working. She'd come up with a beautiful dish using slivers of the fish with cooked rice but Leo had taken one look at it and baulked, refusing to even taste it. For a chef he's surprisingly closed-minded she thought, stinging again from his criticism that it didn't even contain goat.

  She looked over at her experimental dish and noted that it wasn't there, suddenly angered that he'd thrown her creation in the bin for the pigs. With that she heard an uproar in the dining area and sighed deeply, expecting Rufus to appear at any moment blathering about the injustice, which he duly did. As he swung open the doors she could faintly hear an angry raised voice. 'What now?' she asked, suddenly very hot and bothered.

  'Some foetid little worm is in uproar because I gave him the wrong dish. Does that sound like a capital offence to you? It's raw or something, he hasn't even tasted it properly. Philistine!' he shouted at the closed door. 'Do we have that on the menu by the way?'

  'No!' Elli squealed, 'that wasn't meant to go out. Doesn't it look a bit different to goat?'

  'I told him the goat was hidden inside it somewhere. He took one mouthful but I think he's pretty angry, says he's not paying for uncooked food. Go out there, will you?'

  'No,' she replied archly, climbing down from the stepladder but then immediately regretting it as she now had to look up at Rufus. 'You caused this, you do it.'

  'Hang on,' he said, walking slowly to the door and gently pressing his ear to the small gap. 'I think he may have calmed down.' At that moment Gwen pulled open the door and Rufus fell forward, sprawling into some seated diners. 'I'm so terribly sorry,' he managed as he recovered. 'I was in such a rush to speak with the gentleman there. Can I get you another pudding to replace the one I just sat on?'

  'Can I help?' asked Elli appearing in the doorway, apron neatly pressed and hair tied back.

  'Madam,' snivelled the small greasy man, his dark hair combed over his shining head, 'I'm a Lawsetter by trade, and I have here been served raw, I say uncooked, flesh. I intend to sue you for this very dangerous practice as I am already feeling most ill.' She realised that the man was talking slowly and deliberately, enunciating every word as the other diners had fallen silent.

  'From one mouthful?' she asked, one eyebrow arched. 'You're sick from one mouthful of raw, fresh fish?'

  'Yes,' he said, aware that all eyes and ears were on him and basking in it. 'I believe that this establishment has been negligent and I intend to sue.'

  'Sorry, who is Sue?' she asked, looking around at the diners. 'Only can you tell her that I've eaten raw fish all morning and I've just got a slight tummy-ache from over-eating. It is delicate, flavoursome and the texture is like silk. It is also all the rage in Kennysingtown, where I hear that her Royal Highness likes to eat it by the bucketload.' He paled slightly and sat down, reaching for his water. 'Now if this flavour is too...sophisticated for Sir, then perhaps he would like to choose another meal from our selection?' she said just as loudly, as Rufus appeared at the man's side holding a menu. 'Perhaps goaty sausages are more in keeping with Sir's palate?'

  'Can I try some...what do you call it Miss?' asked a tall and very handsome young man seated at the back of the restaurant who Elli recognised as the customer in Dion and Jones. She smiled at him and thought frantically.

  'Er, Sue...'

  'She,' interrupted Rufus, his head held high. 'It's Sue-she. And I'll order some goaty sausages for you, Sir,' he said smiling down at the lawyer. 'Don't worry, I'll make sure they're very, very well done.'

  Rufus breezed into the kitchen with another four orders of sue-she and Elli frowned, delicately arranging the translucent slivers into individual works of art.

  'Another one?' asked Leo, concentrating on carving decorative vegetables and intricate cakes of cooked rice. 'I've got to hand it to you, this dish is selling like hot cakes. And I'd much rather eat hot cakes than this. Still, you can't argue with the upper classes throwing their money around. And name-dropping Her Royal Highness. Credit where credit's due, that's clever,' he admitted, drying some finely cut seaweed wraps on his horns and tusks.

  'Rufus, we're almost out of fish. They can place two more orders and then we're back to goat only,' Elli called out firmly, creating a delicate fish spiral with something of a flourish. 'Do you think the name will catch on?' she asked, looking up in time to see Rufus throw a piece of fish into the air and gulp it down. 'Make that one more order.'

  'Oh, and Billy says that you are taking liberties and have got to pay from now on,' said Leo, removing the seaweed and now using his tusks to sharpen his knife. 'I believe you owe three groats there. And I'm choosing to turn a blind eye to the two puddings and quiche you had earlier,' he said, watching Rufus' eyes widen. 'If I were you I'd cut down, wouldn't hurt for the old waistline either,' he added with a thin smile.

  'If you must know I have big bones,' replied Rufus, petulantly refusing to meet his gaze.

  'Oh don't tell me that,' said Leo, showing his chiselled teeth like old gravestones. 'I am
an ogre after all. Crunching the bones is always my favourite part.' Rufus backed out slowly, slipping on some sauce he'd spilt earlier and making an ungainly recovery.

  'He'd have found that move a lot more graceful if he'd been a nuli,' said Gwen, appearing behind him holding a dish of sweet pastries.

  'I doubt it,' replied Elli, shaking her head.

  Chapter Ten

  The attractive powers of musk and fluffy slippers

  'You're very perky for someone who hasn't had much sleep,' said Rufus as they walked towards Max's house that evening, both waving at seemingly empty windows. 'Nothing to do with the tall young man you smiled at?' he asked, adding an evil laugh for emphasis.

  'What do you mean?' said Elli, smiling sweetly whilst seeing a thumbs-up appear beneath the curtain at number sixteen.

  'Oh, you know young lady. You don't have to be human to understand human behaviour.'

  'Really?' she asked incredulous, as Rufus fired a high five seemingly at an empty window.

  'My olfactory organs noted the pheromones bouncing off of you like a fat lady on a trampoline,' he said as they reached the front door. 'You're going nowhere without me Missy. Remember what Alpha Sawyre said?'

  'Well spoken,' said Alpha Sawyre opening the door silently, her greyhound head lean in the candlelight. 'I'm so glad to hear you're less...distracted nowadays Rufus. You'd better come in. And your Father says to tell you both to take your shoes off.'

  Elli beamed up at her. 'We've really missed you, is everyone alright?' she asked as she grabbed her and held her tightly.

  'Yes, they are,' answered Alpha Sawyre, faltering slightly. 'We did have some trouble with the villagers and with...someone else, but I'll come to that in good time. Well now, what of your news? I hear that uncooked fish is now a delicacy thanks to you Elli, I look forward to trying some. Come inside and sit down, I'm sure you have lots to tell me. I'll make us all some tea,' she said, disappearing into the kitchen.

  They went into the house and took their shoes off, looking up as Max appeared at the top of the stairs. His black fur glinted in the warm light with a slight sheen of oil, and he wore a dark green cravat beneath an expensive jacket. He walked regally down the steps, his mouth in an open grin.

  'Enjoy work, did you?' he asked, watching them from above and noting the food stains on Rufus' trousers.

  'Why didn't you tell me she was coming?' whispered Rufus, mouthing the words clearly.

  'She?' asked Max, his deep voice quiet but stern. 'You'll address Esme properly in this house pup.'

  'What's that smell?' asked Elli as Max reached the bottom step. 'Oh that's lovely. Like wood and sandals, and grass and...oh what's that other...?

  'It's musk,' said Rufus flatly. 'So what has Alpha Sawyre told you about me?' he asked whilst putting his fluffy slippers on.

  'She hasn't yet, but I look forward to hearing all the tales,' replied Max. 'She's a remarkable lady you know. Let's ask her shall we.' He walked off through the doorway and Rufus wrinkled his nose.

  'Esme?' he said, as Elli pushed him gently through the door.

  They sat together in the large room, the rich tapestry curtains closed and a woody scent in the air. Elli sipped her tea carefully and ate another lavender biscuit, watching as Rufus dunked his and then lost the other half in his bowl. 'So you're sure that this man and woman are chasing me,' she said finally, feeling the cool glass of the locket against her skin and the swirling mist inside struggling to get out.

  'Lord and Lady Lansdown, an interesting couple at best,' said Alpha Sawyre with a crooked grin. 'It would appear that they've sent out spies in all directions looking for you. They want your stone Elli, and I fear that you are already being watched. As to why, my understanding is that bringing these two stones together unleashes enormous energy, certainly enough to destroy Brayston and all of the people who live here.'

  There was a pregnant pause as Elli twirled her chain between her fingers. 'How do they know I still have it? I could have passed it to any number of people by now.'

  Alpha Sawyre sighed and looked at the dull red of the false locket. 'They can't know for sure, but I suppose they'll start with you. I wonder, can you get any sense of him through your stone? I'd imagine if they're that closely linked you may have an echo of the other one, it's just a thought.'

  Elli looked down and opened the clasp slowly, feeling the slivers of dancing light spill out around the true stone. She closed her eyes and focussed, and in a heartbeat felt an icy calmness reaching out towards her, a mind of clarity and vision and order calling her towards it.

  'Elli,' called out a voice, and she looked across to see Rufus staring at her intently. 'What is it?'

  'Him,' she said simply, turning to Alpha Sawyre. 'You're right, I can sense him but I don't think I should do again. He seems strong, as though he's following a straight path.' The words lingered for a moment.

  'I'm sure that's what he believes,' said Alpha Sawyre gently, moving towards Elli and closing the locket over her stone once again. 'St Christophe tells us that the path to wisdom lies on the broken stones that wind around and trip us over after all. A straight narrow path suggests there's no room for doubt; and therein lies the danger.' She paused and sipped at her tea, her head held high. 'He calls us the Monstrous Races, meaning anyone other than humans. I've heard those words before.'

  Max cleared his throat, his eyes glinting with the reflected flames of the fire. 'So have I,' he said. 'What saddens me is that his 'army' is made up of dog-heads, humans, gorgadons, even ogres I'm told. Fighting for their own little slice of the booty and to hell with the consequences.'

  'What price a man's soul? Or a dog-head's, or an ogre's?' Rufus relaxed into his chair and put his slippered feet onto the table. 'Is it worth us leaving again? We could take an Egyptian Pegasus, make it impossible for him to find us.'

  'He'll never stop searching,' Max said evenly. 'He'll have spies in every Skycoach station, checks on everything going out. That's what I'd do. And this stone of yours Elli, we could manage to hide that, get it out of here...'

  Elli shook her head sadly, feeling the stone calling to be released from the red glass that covered it. She opened it slowly and handed Max the locket, the stone pulsing against her skin and soft lights darting around it.

  'I can't trap it or contain it Max,' she said quietly, as she felt the familiar glow course through her. 'I think its chosen me and I don't know what would happen if I took it off; I don't think I can any more.' She saw them look at one another in slow realisation and fear. 'It's how it is,' she shrugged. 'Do the gendarme know?' she asked finally, looking from face to face. She heard the sound of Rufus choking on his thirteenth biscuit so guessed that this was not the option that he preferred.

  'Elli, we can't tell them that you have the stone,' he said gruffly. 'It would bring even more trouble to everybody. No, we'll deal with this ourselves like we've always done. Of course we'll have to give up our jobs and keep an even lower profile.'

  'Oh I don't think that's necessary son,' said Max, his eyes glinting in the firelight. 'After all, you're physically incapable of blending into the shadows for a start. If they haven't worked out who you are and where you go every day by now then I despair of the criminal classes. Er...' he added, glancing at Alpha Sawyre.

  'You're quite right,' she interrupted, 'they'll know you by now. Carry on as you're doing and at least it will keep the Blemmyae Council happy. How is work going by the way?'

  'Don't ask,' said Rufus, holding up his calloused hands for them to see. 'At this rate I owe them money to work there. Modern day slave-drivers.'

  'Actually I'm enjoying it,' said Elli, sitting up in her seat. 'I'm learning all kinds of useful things for when we return to the Dogheadhood Alpha Sawyre, including a great recipe to take away the taste of onions. It's come in very handy, believe me,' she said, stifling a yawn.

  'You must be exhausted Elli,' said Alpha Sawyre with a smile. 'Go on up to bed and I'll see you in the morning. Max here has very kindly o
ffered to let me stay for a few days. I'll make you some breakfast in the morning.'

  'Lovely, thanks,' said Rufus, stretching out his arms and yawning profusely.

  'Ah Rufus, I'd have thought the two meat pies and a sausage roll that you have secreted on your person, in your inside pockets if I'm not mistaken, would be enough to keep you going for the day. If you'll all excuse me,' she said, walking elegantly to the door and going up to her room.

  'What a lady,' muttered Max under his breath.

  Lord Lansdown rode on ahead of his company and surveyed the scene. A large castle loomed ahead and he rode up to the gates, his horse's hooves pounding the well-trodden path below. As he approached the imposing door he saw small eyes watching him from all corners of the strong grey building, and he reached up to touch the stone with his gloved hands.

  A man sat waiting for him outside, his faded clothes once rich turquoise and golds and his skin like polished mahogany. In his lined hands he held a pack of cards that he continued to shuffle, ignoring or oblivious to the magnificent horse in front of him. Lord Lansdown sat for a few moments staring down at him, until finally he cleared his throat.

  'You there, how dare you sit in my presence. Stand when you are spoken to old man,' he spat out, his voice trembling with hostility. The man slowly looked up and laughed with twinkling green eyes, and continued to shuffle the cards. Lord Lansdown saw some movement in the shadows behind him. He raised one hand towards the man and smirked. 'This is your final warning,' he said slowly, as though speaking to a child.

  'Lord Lansdown I believe,' said the man finally, his voice as thin and fragile as paper. 'We've been looking forward to your visit. Would you like to play?' he asked, licking his finger as he continued to shuffle. Lord Lansdown opened his hand that glittered with blue sparks, and pulled it back ready to unleash them. The man very calmly held up his own hand and a series of sparks and hisses left his own palm and plummeted into Lord Lansdown's open hand, sending him spiralling down into the mud below him. The man continued to deal the cards, humming softly to himself.