Monstrous Races Read online

  Monstrous Races

  Written by K. Jewell

  For my family – you’re the reason that I do everything, love always.

  And for D., my favourite muse and the laziest, cleverest person I know. Your turn.

  First Published in 2011 by K. Wiltshire

  Copyright © 2011 by K. Wiltshire

  Cover artwork by L Wiltshire

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, organisations, places and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Street-talk and gnats

  Chapter Two

  Delving in the eternal ear canal

  Chapter Three

  Threats and self-inflicted injuries

  Chapter Four

  Scouting for snacks

  Chapter Five

  A decent cup of tea

  Chapter Six

  Beer and more gnats, sugared this time

  Chapter Seven

  The importance of Cheese Alley

  Chapter Eight

  Musical winkles curried...not necessarily in that order

  Chapter Nine

  Raw fish, onions and a foetid little worm

  Chapter Ten

  The attractive powers of musk and fluffy slippers

  Chapter Eleven

  There’s more than one use for earwax

  Chapter Twelve

  Thick woollen tights and the big unveiling

  Chapter Thirteen

  The twin delights of mints and crunchy pigs’ ears

  Chapter Fourteen

  Whimpers, tears and a resolute quiff

  Chapter Fifteen

  The erotic draw of a nice pinafore

  Chapter Sixteen

  An alternative use for a bald head

  Chapter Seventeen

  Falling coins and no more sushi

  Chapter Eighteen

  An interesting place to sail a barge

  Chapter Nineteen

  Why bodies are superfluous to cleanliness

  Chapter Twenty

  Burt and his magnificent bowling-bowl

  Chapter Twenty one

  The secret dowry and Bob Rowntrees’ dad

  Chapter Twenty two

  How to grasp a weasel

  Chapter Twenty three

  The home that sat in the grass and waited

  Chapter One

  Street-talk and gnats

  The day was cool and mild as Elli walked home from the market. She held her basket in her arms and felt the cold breeze on her cheeks, trying to balance the heavy bottles of oils and sweet things she’d been asked to collect. Rufus had walked on ahead, and as she stepped through the dusty lanes she listened carefully, hearing footsteps that trailed behind her. She walked on confidently, looking all the while for a place to hide and hoping that Rufus would come back. She sped up, holding the basket with both hands more tightly now. She expected it when it came. A stone, thrown with some force, hit her in the back. Slowly she turned around. Two boys and a girl were standing there, she guessed they were the same age as her. The boy who had thrown the stone was smiling and standing ahead of the others. He was tall and bullish, and had powerful muscles in his neck and arms.

  ‘Whatcha doin’ walkin’ ‘round ‘ere all on your own little girl?’ he asked. ‘Want to come and play?’ The girl laughed and Elli could see her pale skin beneath matted hair. The girl bent down to pick up another stone, never taking her eyes from Elli. Elli breathed out slowly and looked from one to the other in the group, forcing herself to stand up straight. Don’t show you’re afraid, she thought, you must never show you’re afraid.

  ‘Don’t wanna play,’ she said. ‘Got plenty of friends of my own to play with, and they’re be wondering where I am.’ The girl threw her stone and it hit Elli on the shoulder. She carried on looking straight at them and tried to ignore the sharp pain seeping down her arm.

  ‘We know you, you live wiv them dog-‘eads don’t you,’ another voice now, the smaller boy on the end with dark hair. His eyes danced with malice and he took a step forward. ‘Why don’t ya just give us that basket and we’ll be on our way. Nobody needs to get ‘urt. Ain’t that right everyone? There’s a good girl, put the basket down and walk away.’ She looked him square in the eye.

  ‘Who you calling girl? You ain’t no older than me, and you’re uglier too. I ain’t scared of none of you, so you’d better walk away from me before somebody gets ‘urt. It ain’t gonna be me.’ Elli silently cursed her mouth’s ability to make things worse before her mind had caught up, but it was too late now. She took a step forward. Got to see it through now, she thought, her heart racing.

  ‘She finks those dog-‘eads is gonna protect her.’ The girl rubbed her hands together and spat on the floor. ‘What wiv you bein’ ‘ere all on your own. What d’you do for them, ‘ey? D’you give ‘em a nice juicy bone? They got no right to be on this earth, wiv bein’ so peculiar. My Dad says they’re an abomination, they ain’t one thing or another. And you live wiv ‘em, so by my reckoning, so are you.’ She focused her gaze on Elli’s neck, and Elli looked down to see that her necklace was hanging outside of her collar. ‘Ere, that’s a pretty trinket,’ said the girl. ‘I ain’t seen a stone like that before. I’ll ‘ave that when we’re finished wiv ‘er and all.’ The gang moved forward and Elli placed her basket against the wall, watching them all as she did so.

  ‘You ain’t having nothin’, and don’t you dare say that about the dog-‘eads. One of them is worth more than all of you.’

  ‘Is that right, do they do tricks for ya?’ The smaller boy now, his arms crossed in front of him. ‘Do they roll over and beg for biscuits? Or do they take their food while it’s still alive. Savages.’ Elli bristled, and the strongest boy ran forward. He ran towards her and she fell to the ground, her breath knocked out of her by the force of the fall. Instinctively she raised her hands as though throwing something at his legs, watching him tumble forward and land with a great noise on his chin and upper body. He looked up dazed and held his chin, blood dripping between his fingers. The boy and girl ran forwards now and the girl got there first, her arm raised into a fist. Elli pushed her hands violently towards them both and they flew backwards into the mud, their legs still up in the air. The strong boy was behind her in a second, holding her by the throat from behind on his knees. His other hand tugged at her hair, pulling it back and pinning her down.

  ‘Now you...witch,’ he whispered. ‘I believe we wanted the basket and the necklace, and I ain’t afraid to kill you for ‘em.’ A deep, resonant growl passed through both of them and a voice came from her left shoulder, immediately behind the boy.

  ‘Wanna bet?’ it whispered, dark and powerful in his ear. The boy relaxed his grip and got to his feet quickly, falling over the basket as he ran past his friends. The other two scrabbled to their feet and looked up at Rufus who towered over them, growling. They stood still for what seemed to Elli like a long time, looking up at him from his sandals to his grey monk’s habit to his shiny brown eyes. They hadn’t realised that dog-heads were so big, eight feet tall and powerfully built with the biggest jaw they had ever seen. Rufus snarled and barked once; a deep, low angry noise that woke them from their surprise and sent them squealing and running in the opposite direction. He bent down over Elli.

  ‘So, are you going to tell me what happened
here or am I going to assume that you almost managed to win a fight with three of them?’

  ‘Yes,’ she said, sitting up and rubbing her swollen neck. ‘I think I almost did. Still, the big one got me. Where were you?’

  ‘Had to see a dog about a man. I didn’t know this was going to happen, now did I? I take it they wanted the basket...are you alright? Can you stand up?’ He tousled her hair and helped her to her feet.

  ‘Oh, I’m brilliant,' she said sarcastically, 'I had to put on a street voice and everything.’ She brushed some mud off of her clothes, thinking to herself that it probably looked better with a colour other than grey on it. ‘They were really horrible, and that girl wanted my necklace. I’d rather die than let her wear it.’

  ‘I wish you wouldn’t say things like that,’ said Rufus, looking down at her curly hair and small frame. ‘You very nearly could have.’

  ‘Is the basket alright?’ she asked, as Rufus picked up the bottles and packages that had fallen out.

  ‘Hmm, just one breakage, but we’ll live with that. We’ll just have to eat it on the way home. It’s the roasted sugar gnats, what a terrible shame,’ he answered, ripping open the paper and dipping his fingers into the orange, crunchy gnats.

  ‘Yes terrible,’ she agreed, watching him throw them into his mouth and chew on them like toffee, giving all of the muscles in his face a good workout. ‘Rufus, did you see the fight at all?’ she asked, pushing her fingers into the bag greedily.

  ‘Now Elli, you know what Alpha Sawyre will say. She’ll say that it is always better not to fight if another way can be found, and that if it can’t then you must do so with a heavy heart as you have already lost. However, you kicked their backsides right until the end when that boy got you.’ She smiled and looked up at the gentle face which bore a few scars from his time before joining the Dogheadhood. He scratched his muzzle self-consciously, knowing that she was curious about them. ‘How did you do it?’ he asked.

  ‘I really don’t know,’ she answered, ‘but my arm aches, my throat hurts and I don’t feel too good. Just give me more of those gnats and I’ll try to remember.’

  ‘Hmmm, maybe we should contemplate our actions for a while. After all, I did scare them with intent. I take it they weren’t fans of the dog-heads?’ He took her thoughtful silence as an affirmation.

  ‘You know when I was little we were afraid of you, you were always supposed to live in the next town or the one after that. It’s a miracle I found you at all. People are just afraid of what they don’t understand sometimes,’ she said, and paused to think about this. ‘I think I’m afraid at the moment Rufus.’ She looked up at his hulking figure, powerfully built, and his head with short mottled fur, black patches and pointed ears.

  ‘Well, I’m clearly the right person to speak with,’ he said, swallowing another large mouthful of gnats. ‘I’ve got a human body, and a head that is part labrador, part alsatian. Believe me, I know all about having problems. I’m permanently caught between biting people’s heads off and licking them to death. It’s complicated being me you know.’ He sighed and let out a vibrating belch. ‘Whoops,' he said, raising his hand to his muzzle. ‘Sorry about that, it’s those gnats. See, an awareness of social etiquette combined with ancestry that greets each other by sniffing bottoms.’ He looked down into her troubled blue eyes. ‘What are you afraid of Elli?’

  ‘Me,’ she replied, touching the stone that lay against her chest.

  Chapter Two

  Delving in the eternal ear canal

  They made it back to the Dogheadhood as the light was failing, and each was deep in thought as the huge wooden gates swung towards them and they walked inside. In the middle was a large open courtyard, where flowers and herbs grew alongside vegetables and fruits. Peas trailed up along whitewashed walls, and juicy crimson strawberries fell from pots of every shape and colour. A solitary scarecrow stood in the middle of the courtyard, its arms flapping in the twilight. Dogs barked from the shelter of the kennels to the right of them, street dogs who had run away from their cruel or neglectful owners and were given charity and food by the dog-heads. Two louder barks told them to settle down as they were given fresh water for the night.

  They walked past them, through the creaking doors and candle-lit corridors until they reached the kitchen. The ever-burning fire lit up the room with a warm red glow as Rufus placed the basket on the table. Elli helped him to unpack, avoiding his eyes as she waited for his response. She sat at the table, her feet dangling off the ground and three cushions placed under her. Finally he poured some water into a pot and placed it over the fire before taking a mug and bowl down from a high shelf.

  ‘I don’t understand,’ he said. ‘How could those people just move? Are you sure you didn’t touch them? Or that they slipped and you just thought you’d done it?’

  ‘No,’ she answered clearly, ‘I think it was me. It felt like I’d hit them, but I hadn’t. I think I did it, but I don’t know how.’ She paused and looked at her hands, which were grasping each other. ‘Do you think I’m bad?’ she whispered. ‘Only he called me a witch. I don’t think I’m a witch but then I don’t know what they’re like because I’ve never met one.’

  Rufus looked at her through the dancing shadows and noted the mud that was still down one side of her face. ‘Doesn’t sound like normal magic to me. The only witch I ever knew learned how to use it over time, it didn’t just happen by itself. She had the best parties...could really get people dancing, well, not that they had a choice.' He paused and looked down at her neck. ‘Is that stone of yours always that colour?’ She followed his gaze and saw that the blue stone in her necklace was glowing very faintly, a ghostly sharp blue and white light surrounding it. She shook her head.

  ‘Didn’t think so. We’d better speak with Alpha Sawyre in the morning. Cheer up little one, it’ll be alright. But no drop-kicking me or anything else if you don’t mind. I’ll make something to help you sleep.’ He picked up leaves and herbs from all around the kitchen and threw them into the pot. ‘Actually, this’ll help us both to sleep, it’s been a busy day,’ he yawned, scratching behind his ear. 'Do you think it’s safe to keep wearing that necklace?’ he asked, watching its delicate hue with fascination.

  ‘I won’t take it off,’ she answered flatly. ‘You know that.’ She pulled her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ears.

  ‘You know, you have great big ears for a human,' he said, smiling wolfishly at her. She could see the glow from the stone reflected in his shiny brown eyes and she smiled back at him.

  ‘All the better to hear you with, my dear,’ she replied. ‘And they’re not big, they’re well in proportion.’

  ‘Yeah, for a rabbit.' He thought on this for a while. ‘Actually I’m hungry. We’ve got some cold meat somewhere.’

  ‘I’ll have some,’ she said, as the herbs in the tea began to fill the room with their soft, smoky scent. ‘And I’ll make the tea.’ She went to the fire and gingerly lifted up the pot, pouring the contents into the mug and bowl. ‘You know, those fools today asked if you ate your meat raw,’ she added, placing some cold rabbit onto some bread.

  ‘You should’ve told them I’d eat them raw,’ he replied grinning. ‘Plenty of meat on the one that grabbed you.’ He lapped some tea from the bowl and yawned, the scent permeating the kitchen. Rufus bit into the rabbit bones and crushed them beneath his powerful teeth. ‘This tea is good stuff,’ he mumbled as his head rolled forward and slumped onto the table, landing in a heap of bread and rabbit.

  ‘Yes it is,’ she said, finishing her food and tea. ‘See you in the morning.’ She ruffled the fur on his head and walked to her room, feeling the glowing stone pulsing and calling against her chest.

  Elli heard the knock on her bedroom door the next morning and rolled over in her bed, pulling the blanket tight over her head. After three gradually more insistent knocks she shouted, ‘alright, I’m up thank you,’ and rubbed her eyes, muttering quietly, ‘thank you for waking me up at
this ridiculous hour. Thanks so very much.’

  ‘You’re welcome,’ came the cheerful, sing-song reply. She dragged herself out of the warm blankets and put her feet on the floor, then squealed as the floor was so cold. She dressed quickly and walked to the shower area where she pumped a valve for warm water and used her soap, and then down to the kitchen, yawning and pulling her hair into a knot at the back. Rufus was still asleep with his head lying on the bread and rabbit, blissfully unaware of the rude awakening that he was now about to receive.

  She carefully pulled down two metal pots and held them over his head, watching him sleep peacefully as she crashed them together above him. His ears pricked up immediately and he flew into the air to stand up. On finding that he was sitting on a bench he overcompensated, caught his legs under the table and fell down onto his back, his legs resting on the bench. As he lay there in a stupor Elli appeared in his vision, looking down at him from behind so that her face was upside-down.

  ‘Good morning,’ she said merrily, holding both saucepans. ‘You’re late for prayers.’ He scrambled to his feet and ran off, his habit flapping as he went.

  Elli began preparing the food for the day ahead and waited for Rufus to join her, busy peeling, scrubbing and baking, her cheeks red with the steam and effort. When he finally reappeared he was wearing a clean habit and towelling his head, pushing his finger into his ear and having a good forage around.

  ‘You know, I don’t think you can beat a good finger for poking in ears. We’ve got the best of both worlds; small fingers and big ears,’ he said, turning it around to really delve inside his ear canal.

  ‘You said mine were big yesterday,’ said Elli as she stirred a vat of mutton stew.

  ‘Well they are for a human. Thanks for the wake-up call this morning, and do remind me to do that to you some time. Oh, and next time please tell me that I have bits of rabbit and breadcrumbs stuck to my face. Alpha Sawyre asked me if I had the pox and said I’m a disgrace. Again. I did ask if we could speak with her today about an important matter. She’ll send for us later.’ He paused and sniffed the air. ‘Is that stew ready? Only I’m starving.’ He picked up the vat and carried it through to the dining area as Elli followed behind with plates made of heavy bread.