Monstrous Races Page 10

  'It sounds like a very enjoyable evening to me,' said Alpha Sawyre. 'It's always important to support budding new talent. Sadly I can't make it, but I'm sure Elli will take care of you, if you're well enough of course.'

  'Me? Again? Elli looked up at Alpha Sawyre with wide eyes. 'Well alright, but I'll need to fashion some sort of earplug out of candle wax.'

  'Me too,' said Rufus wearily as he collected the plates. 'How about you Max, fancy hob-nobbing with some budding young talent? Or failing that coming to this musical extravaganza?'

  'I'm afraid my tastes are a little more refined, as well you know,' he replied. 'Besides I'm also busy that evening. I'm sure you'll enjoy it when you get there.' He grinned, his white teeth glinting in the light.

  'Want to bet?' asked Rufus sourly.

  Chapter Twelve

  Thick woollen tights and the big unveiling

  'My dear, will you please stop crying. It's been days since he ran away, you're just going to have to find somebody else to do it.' Lord Lansdown stared across at his wife, her grey eyes swollen with tears and her hair now greying at the temples.

  'But you don't understand,' she cried, rubbing at her eyes with her hands. 'I'm all alone here. I had such hopes for him, I don't understand why he'd leave. Are you sure you didn't upset him?' Lord Lansdown turned his head away so she wouldn't see him smirking.

  'I really don't know why you're so upset. There are plenty more men out there you know. I think that perhaps we're better off without a servant anyway,' he added, as his wife began a fresh bout of crying.

  'Where's George?' she asked, her voice muffled with sobs. 'He may have been an idiot but at least he did things properly.'

  'Yes, he did,' said Lord Lansdown, stroking the point on his beard that he'd cut himself and was rather proud of. 'He's proving a most valuable asset. He's really rather clever you know, under all that apparent stupidity.'

  'Clever or not, I want him back,' she said petulantly. 'In the meantime you're going to have to do it, there's nobody else I can trust.'

  'Me?' he asked incredulous.

  'Yes, you. You're the one who brought me miles away from everybody and you've been using that stone to get what you want. Well here's what I want. My red locks to be painted back on so that I look like the Queen I'm going to be.' Her voice is shrill, he thought calmly. I've never noticed it before.

  'My dear, that's really rather impossible. I'm not a servant, I'm a King, or I will be soon. Can you imagine what the men will think if they see my hands stained orange? I'll be a laughing stock,' he said, cleaning his fingernails carefully with a small, sharp knife. The leather gloves were thrown with some force, and hit him in the shoulder. 'I see,' he said quietly. He calmly dropped the gloves to the floor and walked out of the large white tent to survey his troops.

  They were spread all around the area, camping in open ground now. They'd had some conflicting reports and Lord Lansdown had calmly and precisely gone through them all, offering riches to whoever could bring the girl to him; he'd been very careful to avoid mentioning the stone she was wearing in recent weeks, that was information on a need to know basis and they certainly didn't need to know.

  He'd been clumsy these last few days, using his power more and more carelessly; like an intoxicant it had gone to his head, and he's seen the men looking on in awe as he'd extended his hand and fired out the sparks of light at whoever dared to stand up to him. They all now looked deep in some task or another, sharpening blades or bringing in animals they'd hunted to the large open fire. The cook was impaling a small boar on a sharp spit, and he saw Captain Briggs looking at a map and barking out more orders. He's really rather good, but he'll need paying soon. A crimson flush crept up his neck from under his tightly-buttoned tunic. They'll all need paying soon.

  His company now stood at three hundred men, inclusive of several large dog-heads and some fearsome ogres. Many had joined them as they'd passed through backwaters and deserted villages, and all came with the promise of coins and a position at his side when he was King. Of course these monstrous races will be expelled when I have both stones he thought, gazing on them with fascination, but for now I need them. And they do make excellent soldiers.

  'Sir,' croaked a young man, his unkempt hair swept over one eye. 'I've been asked by the men to ask you about our next payment.' He was large with taut muscles in his neck, and Lord Lansdown was pleased to see that he shifted his weight from one leg to the other and held a cloth tightly in his hands as though rinsing it out.

  'What's your name?' he asked, pulling himself up to his full height which was considerably shorter than the man with the thick neck.

  'Bill, Sir,' he answered, 'Bill Onions.' Lord Lansdown noticed his Adam's apple bobbing as he spoke.

  'And why are you speaking for them Bill?' he asked, delighted to see that Bill Onions was trembling.

  'We had a draw and I lost Sir,' he mumbled.

  'I see. You can tell the men that the next payment will be within three days, as long as I receive a satisfactory report from Captain Briggs.'

  'Thank you, Sir,' mumbled Bill, stumbling over his own shoes in a bid to run back to the relative safety of the men. Lord Lansdown watched as he ran back, kicking up dust as he went. Money, he thought, so very tiresome. I'll have to ride out alone again soon and procure some. He thought back to the monastery he'd visited days ago, terrifying the fat Abbott who sat in his ostentatious painted chair as though he'd been winched into it. He'd persuaded the Abbott to give him a large donation in return for his grace and pardon when he was King. He'd only had to use his powers once, that was enough. Of course he'd spent most of his own money weeks ago, but what did it matter when it was so readily available?

  He looked up into the sombre sky, the clouds swollen with raindrops. Not long now, he thought, hearing a deep, cavernous growl coming from the covered cage. Of course, the Queen's Guard would be en-route by now, but soon it would all be his anyway. He smiled up at the blistering heavens and waited.

  'So where are they?' asked Elli, as they walked on the path next to deep dark canals. Her eyes darted everywhere and occasionally she'd turn around mid-stride, once losing her footing and narrowly missing the cold unforgiving water. They were inside a mossy tunnel, where unfamiliar words were brightly scrawled and badly spelled on its belly.

  'Do you really want to know?' asked Rufus, swinging a large bag by his side. 'It's probably best that you don't. Believe me, there's no such thing as privacy until this is all over.'

  'Talking of privacy, I wonder where Alpha Sawyre and Max are going tomorrow evening?'

  'Hmmm?' he asked, absent-mindedly kicking a small rock into the water which was sucked down into the gloom below. 'Course, I've been making enquiries as to the lump of gristle that Josie is hanging around with. Turns out he's a pillar of the community, a Lawsetter with an unblemished record and no dirt on him at all. At all!' He smiled, showing his white teeth and strong fangs.

  'And why's that a good thing?' she asked, twisting around to see a young gorgadon couple holding hands behind them.

  'Oh please, if there's no dirt on him at all then he's bound to be suspect. And I'll find out how,' he said quietly, tapping the side of his nose. 'I know Josie's a gendarme and everything now, but we've got a real connection.'

  'Yes Rufus, if she's a gendarme you probably will have a real connection very soon, I've seen those cuffs she carries around. Besides which perhaps she's really happy, you've been gone for a long time.' She looked up into his big doleful eyes.

  'No,' he said emphatically, 'things haven't changed that much. And a bit of digging around won't hurt, then if I find he really is holier than somebody who has devoted his life in recent years to St Christophe, I'll wish them luck and be on my way. But he won't be,' he added, his eyes mischievous and sparkling in the gloomy light. Elli followed his gaze to the mouth of the tunnel where she saw a head hanging upside-down from the top before it disappeared from view.

  'Do we need to get ready?' she whispered
, touching the stone at her chest.

  'Nope,' replied Rufus, swinging the bag merrily. 'That was Barry the Ultraviolet Pilot. Rides the Ethiopian Pegasus to and from Manilla twice a day. Lovely guy but losing his touch a little,' he said, blowing his nose loudly into a handkerchief.

  'Why do you say that?' she asked puzzled, as a small barge slowly sauntered past apparently unmanned.

  'Because you saw him. There are five others you haven't seen following everything we do.' He picked up a small stone and threw it into the canal; Elli watched entranced as a hand appeared from the slimy water to catch it and then disappeared again. 'I told you, no privacy,' he said sadly. She wasn't hugely surprised when the stone came flying out of the water from the same spot, catching Rufus firmly on the forehead. He winced and rubbed it, saluting to the canal. 'Sorry,' he called out. 'Accident!' The gesture that the hand made from the water clearly showed that they didn't believe him.

  They reached Dion and Jones after a long weary walk, and Elli was frustrated that she hadn't managed to glimpse any of the people following them. She was surprised that she felt so well considering her recent injury, and absent-mindedly touched the stone at her chest, thanking it silently. Her head no longer throbbed but there was an oblong bump perched at the back of her skull, hidden by her long copper curls.

  Rufus had been sniffing the air for some time, and now the scent of a butcher's shop and cheese shop neighbouring Dion and Jones left her feeling a little light-headed. They walked inside and an old shop bell rang to alert Maud and Effi of their presence.

  'Rufus, Elli!' squealed Effi, jumping up from her stool and kissing them on the cheek. Elli smelt cosmetic powder and roses, and the curled hair tickled her face. Effi’s eyes shone as she looked at them both, and Elli saw that she'd coloured the white hair on her cheeks a soft peach colour. 'Lovely to see you again, I was just taking a quick break, it's been all go here! How's my handsome scamp?' she asked Rufus, standing on tiptoes and pinching his cheek.

  'I hope you're being a good boy for your Father now. Hang on a minute, give me two ticks and I'll make sure we're not disturbed,' she said, deftly moving towards the door and changing the sign to Closed. 'That's better, I thought we should be on our own before the big unveiling. Where has that Maud gone? She was making me some tea and a nice snack but I dare say she's been sidetracked. Would you like some as well?' Elli and Rufus looked across at one another, acutely aware now that the gurgling sound that was reaching a crescendo probably emanated from them.

  'Yes please,' they said simultaneously, nodding in unison. The sound of precariously balanced crockery balanced on a tray could be heard from upstairs and Effi walked to the bottom of the stairs in time to see two feet appear in thick woollen tights and sturdy brown shoes.

  'Maud,' she hollered upwards. 'Rufus and Elli have come to see us. Be a dear and make more sandwiches could you.' The feet remained in position as the information was digested and then, accompanied with a barely perceptible sigh, they turned around and walked back upwards and through to the kitchen. Effi settled herself back onto her stool so that her cerise dress cascaded down, complimented by pink streaks in her curled white hair. She wore small pink bows on her head and arms, and a pink beaded necklace vied for attention around her throat.

  'Between us,' she whispered, moving in towards them, 'I think Maud might be going slightly deaf. Do speak clearly for her, won't you.' Elli nodded, marvelling that Effi's idea of whispering involved talking just as loudly but with more pronounced facial expressions and arm movements.

  'Shall I go and give her a hand?' asked Rufus, drool beginning to collect in his cheeks.

  'Oh no my dear, she's fine,' answered Effi, glancing over at him. 'And am I right in thinking those trousers were just a little too tight Rufus? I know you said it was the fashion, but would you like me to adjust them for you now?' She waited expectantly.

  'Yes please,' he nodded, 'just a little around the waist. And legs. And...everywhere else.'

  'Oh I can do that while we wait,' she said exuberantly, pouncing down underneath the desk and pulling out an old and tattered material bag. 'You just slip out of those and I'll put them through the machine, it'll only take me a minute.' She pulled out sharp pins from the mass of coloured cottons and chalks inside.

  'Um, could you do these too while you're there?' asked Rufus, pulling up the large bag he'd carried from home. 'All of them. Max's washing methods leave a lot to be desired,' he said, holding up a pair of black satin trousers that he'd struggle to get over his knees.

  'Yesh,' said Effi, pins protruding from her mouth, ''e shaid you'd shay dat.'

  Shortly afterwards they heard the signal that Maud was approaching as porcelain cups and bowls, piled up onto a carefully balanced tray, clattered next to one another. Rufus had fashioned a toga out of a sheet and was standing next to Effi as she looked intently at her sewing machine, her legs moving frantically to work it. 'Algosht done,' she said, the pins still firmly held between her lips. The noise ceased and she stood up, pulling the pins out of her mouth and back into the recesses of the sewing bag. 'Should be much more comfortable now my dear,' she said, throwing the trousers at him. He grinned and moved over to the changing cubicle, his toga dragging along the ground behind him.

  Effi sat back on her stool, looking at Elli with her hands clasped together. 'I hear you're a whizz at that restaurant place. Raw fish so I'm told.'

  'It's really good,' said Elli, preparing to explain. 'I ate it and loved it and it sort of...caught on. Would you like to come to Goat Cuisine to try some? I can get you a discount.'

  'Oh, I don't hold with that noovel kissine,' replied Effi, apparently so horrified by the idea that she almost fell off her stool. 'I'm more a sort of steak-pudding and gravy kind of girl.'

  'Girl?' snorted Maud behind her, who had finally made it down the stairs with the tray and was walking now in tiny steps for fear of it all collapsing. Effi looked across at her then leaned in towards Elli.

  'There was also a young man in here who was asking after you. Seems you've made an impression all over the place,' she said raising her eyebrows, an effect lost on Elli due to the mass of hair around them. Elli reddened and looked across at the tray, now bending in the middle as Maud bravely soldiered on towards the desk.

  'What did he look like?' asked Rufus from behind the curtain.

  'They've got good hearing, haven't they?' she said to Elli at exactly the same volume level but more slowly, mouthing each word very deliberately. Maud tutted and rolled her eyes, finally relieved to place the tray down.

  'I believe she's referring to the blonde-haired young man who was here during your last visit,' said Maud, dismantling the intricate arrangement of crockery, tea, sandwiches and cake. 'He simply asked who you were and where he might make your acquaintance. A most charming fellow.' The changing curtain was pulled aside and Rufus stood there, resplendent in his perfectly-fitting trousers.

  'I can't tell you how good these feel. Thank you my lovely ladies,' he said, giving them an impromptu twirl with an extra wiggle of his behind.

  'Oh put it away dear boy,' laughed Maud, 'it's nothing we haven't seen before. Isn't that right Effi?' she asked, handing out dishes, cups and saucers.

  'Well not for a little while,' she answered, pouring out the tea. 'Which reminds me, that nice young man who asked after you, he's an apprentice at the Lawsetters you know. He's doing very well I hear and he does fill out his suits so beautifully.'

  'What's his name?' asked Rufus, taking large strides over to the food.

  'Yews, isn't it Maud?'

  'I think so dear, Henry Yews. Although we always call him Sir of course. We told him you were new here and might like a nice young man to take you on a tour of the sights.'

  'We?' asked Maud loudly, delicately pouring out tea. 'I believe that you took it upon yourself to make that suggestion.'

  'Anyway, he said that if you would like a companion to show you around he'd be very happy to.' Effi winked at Elli and delicately da
bbed at her mouth with a napkin, smearing tomato juice further into the hair surrounding it. 'He gave us a card to give to you should you wish to take him up on his offer.' Elli felt the heat in her cheeks and avoided looking at Rufus. 'Now where did I put it?' she continued, rummaging around in the drawers underneath the desk.

  'It's here,' said Maud, opening the drawer below her. Rufus jumped up from his seat and made his way over deftly, taking the card from her.

  'His own business card,' he said, holding it between two fingers as though it was a fragile object. 'How impressive. But she's already got another admirer, haven't you Elli?' he said, walking back to his seat and throwing half a sandwich into the air before gulping it down. The clip around his ear came without warning, and he looked up as Maud stared at him, her great-dane head absolutely still.

  'Manners,' she growled quietly.

  Effi shook her head so that an assortment of crumbs fell to the floor. 'Two admirers? Now tell us all about it.'

  'Well I would,' replied Elli, 'it's just that I haven't the faintest idea what he's talking about.'

  Rufus coughed, a cough that sounded very like the word 'Whaler,' and carried on eating. 'Max asked us to collect something,' she finally spluttered, pleased to change the subject. Maud wiped her hands together and dabbed her napkin around her muzzle before speaking.

  'Max gave us a very special commission, top secret he said, and it's finally finished. I have to be honest, we're really very proud of our work, aren't we Effi?' she asked, as Effi nodded in agreement.

  'Best thing we've ever done,' she answered, her eyes glistening deep within her tightly-curled hair. 'You just wait till you see it!'

  Chapter Thirteen